PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
