We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
