I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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