Im at strip club and am horny
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
