You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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