I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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