Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
