Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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