it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
