I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
