Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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