I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Congratulations! We have a period
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