Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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