is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
