You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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