Ambien. No doubt about it.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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