It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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