have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
