Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
