So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
