I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
