It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
