new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
where are my eyebrows?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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