Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
