Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Randomize
