Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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