My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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