would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Randomize
