remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
