Porn is love you can see.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
