I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
