i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I have already put on my inside pants.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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