there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
