Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
