If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
