The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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