please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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