You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Randomize
