the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
