i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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