You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
