Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
