dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
