Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
