Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
