I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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