He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
