it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Let's paint friendship bongs
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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