this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
