i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
