i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
