Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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