Don't you send me to vm
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Found the puke drawer
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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