I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
